Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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