I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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