Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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