i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
