i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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