he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
