11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
