If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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