I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
