I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
