We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
