Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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