I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
