you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
