Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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