is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
