I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
