Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
