sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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