I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
