Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
