Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
