What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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