theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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