I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
