Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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