my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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