No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sobbing to NWA
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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