Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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