Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
