seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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