Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
