i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
