I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
