And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
