It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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