My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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