Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
