Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
