i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
