Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
