I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
