i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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