the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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