why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
