We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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