At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
