dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
