I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
