Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
