Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
