Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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